Tuesday, October 8, 2013

From Yesterday to Tomorrow

It seems there is no way around it. A friend of mine form my graduate school days in Austin, Texas seems to have become part of the threads of inspiration and perspective when it comes to my stories in "Lioness in Exile". He has an easy, calming charisma, the willingness to listen and a keen insight and perspective. Ambitious, highly successful, driven, he is kind, patient, tolerant and even though extraordinarily busy, willing to listen, truly listen, with interest and concern. No wonder he is the President of the most prestigious university in Morocco. We were friends in graduate school and somehow our connection survived, and was re-established courtesy of modern media technology. After he graduated with a doctorate, he returned to his country and became highly effective and successful in the education field. He lives the future, living each day building his country's next generation the solid foundations for optimal chances to succeed in the 21st century and beyond. I graduated with a master's degree, married an American psychology graduate student who finished his master's degree, we moved to Washington State, raised our son, who is now a junior in the liberal arts college here, Evergreen State. For the past 8 years I have been busy building a bridge between yesterday and tomorrow, trying to make sense of the present tense lost when my family imploded. A tough spot to be. Therapy finally made me turn the corner, but the present tense remains still elusive on many a day. My world shrank in self-defense, and apparently isolation is a feature of shock, trauma , and grief. So, I started writing on my therapist's suggestion who said : "... the way you talk, use words, you paint with words, you should write... " And as it turned out, I started writing in high school, so I was only to glad to follow up on her vote of confidence. My friend Driss is far away, on the other side of the planet, but it is fascinating to me as disparate as our worlds are, how the desire to build a solid tomorrow somehow is a common thread. My world is a micro-cosmos now, in spite of past international travels, and having lived in the US for soon to be 40 years, in spite of speaking and writing fluently 4 languages, and having intensely studied 3 more, in spite of having been a member now for  19 years of my African- American church, of being a first degree Tae Kwo Do black belt trained by a 9th degree Korean Grand Master. The isolation of the last years has made me invisible and unnoticeable. I am trying to break that wall, and writing is one way of doing that. From yesterday to tomorrow, that is my challenge, as the bridge needed to get there, today, is still very shaky and often invisible in the fog of yesterday. My friend Driss needs to know that his willingness to listen, to take seriously my concerns, my stories, my photographs of flowers, are building blocks towards re-structuring my sense of hope, self-esteem, purpose and self-confidence, so that I can start walking with assurance across that " today " bridge to a more solid future, to the benefit of my husband, my son and sure, myself so I can truly be  a worthwhile neighbour and friend, writer, and use the strength of lessons learned towards a future with a mind and heart open to new horizons and new lessons. I do not know if my friend ever has days where he gets discouraged. If he does, he does not let on, and if he can make a difference in my life with his encouragement long distance,  how much more must he be effective on a daily basis in the lives of his students, colleagues, and community members. I know how much more. Enough so that the King of Morocco appointed him President of the country's most cutting edge university. That is awesome. Everyone should have a friend like Driss somewhere in their life story. His world is a macro-cosmos, but he is wise and kind enough to make time for those whose lives are undeniable micro worlds. That is class, intelligence and heart. And when was the last time the world had an abundance of those qualities?   

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