The Inconvenience

When I recently talked to my aunt and cousin in Belgium, the subject of the kitchen remodel came up. Amid the humorous remarks of how long these remodels can drag on, came up the inconvenience of not having a kitchen sink or running water or a counter top for about 5 weeks. It is true that juggling washing the dishes in the bathroom sink takes some creative approaches and flexibility, and an awareness of certain needs and the coordination of them around kitchen schedules. I had a good laugh about it, and it made me realize how very minor the temporary inconvenience was, with the emphasis on temporary. Countless millions of people all over the world live in conditions that make our temporary inconvenience seem a long weekend at the Ritz, as they are deprived of the most basic human needs such as shelter, food, clean water, safety, security, due to endless wars, either internal or international, due to corruption and poverty. Reading the news these days is a surefire way to get discouraged, if not downright depressed, at the horrific suffering millions deal with on a daily basis, in such nightmare places as Syria, Myanmar, Yemen, just to name the most obvious ones at the moment. The juggling of one sink at the moment for bathing and dishes also made me think of how quickly that can become a strain on patience and dignity. Brushing your teeth in the same sink you are washing dishes in is not particularly appealing. I thought of all the refugee camps for Syrian war refugees right now, of what it would feel like to sit shivering in a tent in winter weather, hoping you would have enough food to feed your baby or that the medicine needed for your sick father or mother would arrive in time. I thought what it would feel like to feel the contempt of the local population around the refugee camp that would look down on you simply for being destitute, what it would feel like to see your husband aimless, without the dignity of a job, to see your children go without school for months first, then years, to realize they may not have a future, unless they survive as adults and the tide turns. I wondered what it would feel like to stand in line for meager rations, to be reduced to a number next to your name on a list for a tent where rain comes in and it is always too hot in summer and freezing in winter, what it would feel like not to have a home anymore, because it was bombed out, to have members of your family imprisoned, tortured, killed, missing because of the inhumane business of war. It would feel miserable, hopeless. It made me think of all the homeless in our state, our city, of children sleeping in the streets at night, of how invisible misery makes you, of how it strips you of your dignity, your humanity and how people stare at you either in contempt, or they ignore you, trying everything not to look at you. We are all just 24 hours away from being just like those wretched humanity, let us go 24 hours without a proper shower, a change of clean clothes, shoes, a good meal, and we too would be looked upon with contempt by far too many. It is a good idea when you can to support a charity that helps those who are less fortunate, locally, and abroad, and also to show some acceptance and warmth when we see a person less fortunate than ourselves. No one chooses to be a victim of war, a victim of abuse, a victim of cyclical poverty, no matter how a hardened mind may want to spin it. I will make a possible exception for addiction, that can be a choice that leads to disastrous misfortune spinning out of control, but addiction can also be a desperate attempt to avoid desperate circumstances. The thing about temporary inconvenience is that you know it will end, and in my case, I will have a beautiful, new, modern kitchen. Imagine the courage it would take, each and every day, to believe that your desperately dire circumstances as a war refugee will actually have an end, that the nightmare will someday be over, even though you have no proof that having hope bears any reality to the circumstances. There are countless millions among us on this earth that have incredible spirit, strength, determination, faith, energy, love and bravery in the most dire circumstances. Inconvenience is a soft word they do not even know or understand, as their whole life is nothing but profound, continued hardship with no visible relief in sight, not in five weeks, not in five months, not in five years. Perhaps in a generation, or longer, some of the destitute of the earth get a well publicized break and we all feel the better for it, as our impatience with inconvenience, such as being reminded of desperate souls other than for a brief moment, is quite spectacular.