Recently, I have come to understand, with surprised and unexpected clarity, that it is no longer a need for me to explain myself, when it comes to who I am and the energy that defines my heart, my soul. It took me a long time to realize that the wounds my soul carries, are mine alone, and that no matter how sincere my efforts are as a poet, a writer, an artist, a flawed human being, to share, to encourage, to learn, to love, the essence of my inner workings and their mechanisms, past and present, will always elude some. Transformative relationships are rare, I have had the privilege of being allowed one so far in this life. It is probably because of that unique experience, this unique gift that a North African colleague of mine has given, that I feel a sense of cathartic energy ebbing through me, that seems to burn away any residual uncertainty as to the identity of my heart and soul. A transformative relationship is defined as one that "brings about a permanent change in someone", for me that came in the grace of my collaborative relationship between my writing and the artistic photography of my Berber friend in Algeria, Nacer Amari. After working together on so far 6 books published between 2020 and 2024, and 2 more books in the works, the distance geographically and visa challenges for both of us, and work and family responsibilities for his young family, the future of that beautiful, profound connection may come under strain. But, there is a peace it leaves behind, if that were to occur, a deep sense of feeling anchored in my soul, my heart, because I was fortunate enough to have known and worked with, and learned and grown, as a human being, as a poet, a writer, an artist, from my colleague's beautiful, caring soul and heart. The poems in this new series are therefore dedicated in deep gratitude to Nacer, my close friend and colleague, who to me is the heart of Kabylia, its spirit that gave wings to my creative longing, to my desire to live as a truly free, alive, fulfilled human being:
Testament of the Naked Soul
How truly rare, to see my naked soul standing there, unabashed and free. How strangely pleased I feel to sense my spirit's breath smiling quietly at me.
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It is a novel sight, to see my flawed heart and soul staring confidently back at me, to notice it standing perhaps a little closer to that large abyss, as time closes slowly in on what are left to me of years, of their challenges, heartbreak and uncertainty.
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What is moving beyond compare, is that my naked soul, with no desire now to hide its flaws, its scars and sorrows, its nightmare haunts of traumas unresolved, stands proud, in triumph, no longer afraid of any shadows, not those of death, not those of tomorrow.
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I see my soul standing there, as I have never seen her before, shivering, in that forbidding space that adds up all the years, of battles, losses, of tears and screams never shed or given sound: she bears herself like a queen, who wears her broken crown light and bright, because there was just one other human soul that took the time to truly see her, to say warmly and unafraid: welcome, why don't you stay then for a while?
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It does not matter that we may lose all, that we may know that the depth of love will also demand the torture of its departure, as the mystery of destiny and its toll is never answered, while we sing in defiance songs of hope, joy and courage.
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The testament of my naked soul, all battered and once again alone, with no encore or second verse, it holds from now on its own, and stares its howling loneliness down, because it was touched, if only once, by the magic of another soul, who knew that when silence between two souls suffices, words tread carefully, timelessly, kindly.
Trudi Ralston
"Only love and death change all things." Kahlil Gibran (1883 - 1931) in "Sand and Foam" (1926)
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