Tears

It is interesting to notice how our attitude can change so much from day to day, our perception of ourselves, our circumstances, our talents, value, hopes and dreams. It was a Monday like any other, starting of with rain and a bleak looking November sky. My husband was in an irritable mood, and somehow I took it to be a reflection of my inadequacies, whether real or just perceived. After he and my son left for the day, I felt a wave of sadness engulf me, like a warm but unpleasant surge. I have a hard time crying since all the loss of family in the last 15 years, but sometimes just snuggling with my cat Tigger helps release the resistance to tears. So, this time too, the tears came, very quietly, very modestly, and as always, my sweet cat sat stock still, as close to my chest as he thought was comforting to me without being too intrusive about my sorrow. It never ceases to amaze me how the most every day phenomenon like tears do not really explain the mystery of their existence. They release toxins when stress builds or sadness, or pain, but they are so strange, a seemingly poetic touch the gods added to ease their conscience about our human predicament on this planet. Like laughter and smiles are a celebration of the joy and ecstasy life can bring, so tears are their opposite. But nothing really explains the necessity of suffering, logically speaking that is. It can be explained on a philosophical, spiritual or religious level, but those interpretations are purely subjective and as a result, so far no truly satisfying answer has been provided. We come close, and that has to suffice. But the fact that tears exist is in and of itself a profound mystery. There is something sacred about tears. When we shed them in private, they attain a warmth and despair that can be almost unbearable. When shed with others, they can heal, they can inspire, move, or they can harden the heart of cruel people even more. Tears have a beauty, a power that defies precise definition. Perhaps the gods felt they needed to do something poetic, to make our existence more agreeable, also in their eyes.