Greensleeves

When I was about ten, I became very fond of a record my mother had that was a compilation of old folk songs, from different countries. The one that stayed with me and haunts me to this day is "Greensleeves", the traditional English folk song of unrequited love. There was something about the melody that hypnotized me as a child, as the English words were mostly unrecognizable to me then. It is a song very often included in Christmas albums, and I always dread hearing it, because it stirs a deep sadness, the origin of which to this day remains elusive.It is a beautiful song, has an elegance and richness to it, but it always drenches me in a river of hidden tears. I was often alone as a child, and perhaps the song's sad love story spoke to some of my loneliness as a child. I used to listen to it over and over again, and no one even noticed. When I hear it now, it freezes me in time, while creating a longing to go beyond the space where I got lost in it, and then always realizing I do not know how to get from A to B in that key. I never talk about it to any one , why ruin a song most people find so wonderful. But I am always glad when the next song comes on, while deeply missing the possibility of maybe next time understanding why it has that effect on me. The Holidays are bittersweet to me as it is, maybe this year I will walk in the room when "Greensleeves" already played.