Dude

It is impressive how one person can leave an impact, an impression that time just does not erase, no matter the will or effort involved. Almost 10 ten years have passed, and there is one person who has not left my soul's memories or song. He was a very close friend, and yes, he was controversially close, but matters of the heart have a will of their own. About 8 years ago, he left the neighborhood, and I haven't seen him since. It 's funny what the mind remembers. The last time I saw Jeff, he was waiting outside his garage, and I was walking by with my then two dogs, Napoleon and Lafayette, close to New Year's Eve, and he wished me "a great Holiday". Then, his son came down the street on his skateboard, and the last words I heard Jeff say were: " Dude, I just got you the best Christmas present." Why do I remember that? It makes me smile, as I realize the eager heart will collect any piece it can retrieve to put in its little scrap book. I wish, all these years later, I would see him somewhere, at a store, and be able to ask him, "How are you?", and tell him how sorry I am at how poorly I handled our special friendship. No matter how hard a friendship can be, no matter its challenges, no matter the conflict, if there are true feelings, it is worth saving. He was so easy to talk to, and a good listener, he was calm and funny, smart, warm. His eyes were a dark chocolate brown,and he was one of my best friends, and I let him go. I miss him, I guess I always will, if I still do all those years later. But I never see him any where, and maybe he never thinks of me any more, and would not want to talk to me, since I was not very nice at the end. I miss you, Jeff. Maybe in some universe, I will see you again, and may be I will be more gentle with our unique connection.  See you, dude. I do any way, at least I run into you time and again, in my dreams. Wherever you are, I hope and pray you are happy, healthy and loved.