The new refrigerator

After 14 years, our fridge quit on us. I was initially bummed because of the unexpected expense, but now that the shiny new brushed aluminum fridge is in place I am very happy with the new robot looking appliance. It was quite the event, getting the old fridge out, and getting the new fridge in our  front door. Fourteen years ago, my husband ended up taking off the entire door frame. So, since the measurements of the new fridge were the same, off came the door and door frame again. It took two and a half hours of using a hammer and power bar, and the result was that it made our house look like it was in the process of being built. It was a weird feeling. I told my husband and son I felt like we were living in a Lego house, because you could look right into our house. I felt like I wouldn't have been surprised if a giant hand came down and removed the roof next, poking around in our stuff with a giant size thumb, and grabbing our furniture that was minuscule in their huge fingers. While my husband was busy banging at the door frame, I got busy cleaning out the old fridge and cleaning off all the stickers and removing all the pictures of our family and friends. As the fridge was already empty on the inside, the empty look of the outside of the white fridge suddenly made me sad. I felt like I was not just undressing our fridge, but our life story of the last almost 15 years. It was like a small funeral for the fridge and how loyally it had tolerated all the pictures and stickers, it had become an intimate expression of our loves and likes,and now I was stripping it naked, and I felt sad. I have so precious few family that stripping the few pictures of the few people in my world felt painful. I was relieved to see a new fridge take its place, all shiny and modern looking and I found myself cautiously putting a few very carefully selected pictures on this new electronic member of our small family. I put my son's childhood giraffe back on top of the new fridge, it just looked like the giraffe had to stay. I decided no more stickers, I had gone overkill on the other fridge. The new fridge looks elegantly spare, quite the victory for an enthusiastic house over stuffer like myself. Once the new fridge was installed, then it was a matter of cleaning up all the mess from the old fridge, and restocking the brand new one while my husband and son got busy rehanging the front door and putting the door frame back together, which took fortunately less time than taking them off.  It felt good to fill up the new fridge, like stocking a food closet, instead of a dresser or clothes closet. The sadness about undressing the old fridge faded, but I will remember my strong emotional reaction to the event. It was another reminder of the implacable passage of time. It was a reminder to use that time wisely, lovingly, joyfully. For as sure as that fridge started purring when it first was plugged into our kitchen 14 years ago, and then spurted to a gasping halt, shuddering to a permanent stop, just as sure my heart that started beating 58 years ago, will one day falter, sputter and stop. For good, and like the fridge, I will be undressed, dismantled and taken away to a final resting place, and all that made me will be removed, the story of my life folded and closed. Something to think about. Everyday is a gift. A new chance. The new fridge reminds me that I am given that chance with each new day. I am very grateful for that. I can still add new pictures to my story and I can still treasure the old pictures and the old stories with a warm, beating heart as I continue my life with my husband ,our son and our friends.