Freedom

This morning, while enjoying a nice, hot shower to wash away the emotional hangover of last night 's New Year's Eve, I started thinking about Mel Gibson as Scottish freedom fighter William Wallace. Somehow the actor's passionate and convincing portrayal of the historical Wallace moved me as I thought about  my own longing and struggle with freedom, on a personal level. As an invisible daughter to a very narcissistic mother, I struggle to this day with self realization, and the fight for identity and basic recognition, emotionally, socially and intellectually seems daily fare. Freedom on a grand scale the way William Wallace fought and died for is deeply profound as it is tied to basic human rights of life, dignity and freedom from fear , hunger and persecution. But somehow his hungry, fierce cry for freedom stirs deep longings profoundly neglected that make me get up each day and try again to move forward and make sense of my life and some of its past emotional brutality. There is great courage in being a hero, like William Wallace who was martyred for his tenacious struggle to obtain freedom for Scotland from England's brutal oppression at the time. There is great courage in the soldier who suffers or dies on battlefields across the world, and great courage in artists and intellectuals who stand up to tyrannical governments to ask for human rights such as freedom of speech, assembly, freedom from imprisonment and torture, and hunger and violence. Great courage from the journalists who risk their lives to go to war zones to report what they see to the world, great love and devotion from the doctors , nurses and countless volunteers who go to war torn hell holes to bring relief and hope, medicine and comfort to the afflicted people there. They are amazingly heroic souls who inspire us, guide our sense of morality and responsibility. But I think we must also take into account the daily struggles of millions of people who have the courage to get up each day, and try again, to be decent human beings just trying to provide for their families, their children's future, their elderly parents' needs, their community, their friends and neighbors. All of us are heroes when we do the best we can each day again, to make life a little brighter for those in our surroundings. The yearning for freedom can come in many shades and shapes, and we all have dreams we aspire to, with varying degrees of success and passion. Just like William Wallace, believe in the dream of freedom you yearn for. In my case, it is a yearning to reach out and teach through my writing the lessons I have learned along the way, and to see my artistically talented son succeed, in spite of financial challenges in stressful economic times. It is my dream to continue to make a difference, one small contribution at a time, one petition at a time,in the fight against animal cruelty, and to keep taking in shelter pets, like I have now for over 25 years, no matter how exhausting it can be , physically and emotionally. To keep believing in my marriage, in spite of all the negative ghosts and family skeletons and family relationship nightmares. To keep learning about art and photography,about  world cultures and world music as a way to bridge differences. To keep trying to reach out to family I lost in our family war. I am sure your dreams are just as worthy, and demand just as much effort and energy. Just keep on keeping on. Some people , like William Wallace, were destined to inspire an entire country. Some inspire an entire city, an entire church, or an entire family. I just want to keep having the strength to keep believing in my fight for inner freedom, the right to it, that will ultimately set me free on the outside, too. "Freedom !" yelled William Wallace with his dying breath, and so "Freedom!", I sing to my self in the shower this morning. It is January first of a new year, and today and tomorrow again, and the next day, I will try again to break those chains that hold me back from realizing my dreams and I will keep trying to bring my portion of light, love and hope where I can.