Angel of Montgomery

There is an amazing song by the American country, folk and progressive blue grass singer John Prine, called " Angel of Montgomery ". He wrote it in 1971. I did not hear the song until 1985, when my husband pointed it out to me. I was 28 at the time, full of hope and life, and was not impressed by the song. In the last couple of years I have heard the song a number of times , and was surprised how it touched me to the marrow. Its lyrics of loss and alienation speak deeply to me now. Its simple yet haunting words seem to speak of my own struggle against anonymity and melancholy in the face of overwhelming loss and heartache. I am 56 now. When my husband introduced me to the song, he was 36, and it was very meaningful to him ,and had been for a long time. At the time, at 28, I just didn't get what was so special about that famous country song. I get it now. All too well. Life has dealt me a blow or two, and whatever pride or arrogance I might have had that would consider a country song not worthy of my finer tastes is long gone. The version of the song done by Bonnie Raitt is all the more touching because the song is about a woman trying to hang on to meaning in her life as she faces old age alone. If someone had told me that the day would come where " Angel of Montgomery " would deeply touch my heart and fill me with empathy and melancholy for the character in the song, I would have been incredulous. I never would have thought that I would someday understand all too well the anguish of the line "... believing in this living is just a hard way to go..." I have a strong spiritual core, and have always believed life is a matter of both purpose and destiny. I still believe that, but there have been times where adversity wore down that conviction and I doubted that my life made any sense at all. Losing as much family as I did under such creepy circumstances definitely put a dent in the self confidence I always had about life and its meaning. "There was a long time No matter how I tried The years they just rolled by Like a broken down dance." These words when I read and hear them now pierce through me with recognition and relevance that cannot be denied to my heart and soul. I now know those moments of despair where I would just pray for " Just give me one thing That I can hold on to ", where I would have to pick up my soul from the floor, or even from under the floor, some days. To me, now,  " Angel of Montgomery " is a profound poem, as meaningful as any poem I so treasured by Verlaine, Rimbaud, Tagore when I was a privileged adolescent in Belgium. I think I am a better person for the trials I have had to overcome and still struggle with, sometimes daily. Now " Angel of Montgomery " brings tears to my eyes and heart, and I am glad.