Mick Jagger

The iconic lead singer of The Rolling Stones rock band, Mick Jagger, is famous for many reasons, not the least of which is continued sexual charisma. To me, Mick Jagger always brings to mind the well known song that has been around for a lifetime now: " You can't always get what you want, but , you might find, if you try real hard, you get what you need." The lines seem simple and straight forward enough, but I find myself thinking of that song quite often when I go through doubts as to my life's path. That song has always managed to get my perspective back, to shift gears emotionally, and get right back in to the journey of what is my life and it' s story, for better or worse. The latest challenge came in the form of thinking about a friend whom I knew in graduate school. This person had a natural charisma, still does, especially with the female gender. He was also highly intelligent, patient, kind, good looking, and exotic, being from Africa. He was not arrogant about his charms, he was easy to be around, caring, an all around wonderful person. He met an equally intelligent, equally highly educated and motivated woman, who was very familiar with his culture, language, and they have been together ever since. That was almost twenty-eight years ago. His life has turned out exceedingly well, as I recently learned and when I spoke with him recently, he is just as kind, energetic and charming as ever. And I started thinking about how our lives each seem to follow certain paths, or at least , possibilities of paths and options. I smiled at the vanity of the thought, but, I wondered, if perhaps I had been more mature, intellectually and emotionally, perhaps if I had pursued the initial interest I had in Spanish-Arabic literature and had in the course learned  to speak Arabic, as I already spoke Spanish and French, maybe I might have been more interesting to my friend and my life might have unfolded in a different part of the world, pursuing a long held dream to learn about and understand an area of our planet that had long held a deep fascination for me. But, I think it may not have been such a good deal for him. My family suffered a nuclear melt down, which for my husband and son, not only for me, was very painful to recover from, and I had a lot of growing up to do, as my mother was way too busy and distracted with her string of lovers to be focused on her daughters' emotional and social needs or concern herself with how to foster in us the knowledge of building a good relationship with the opposite sex. If anything, she wanted minions and had every interest to seduce us into promiscuity to justify her choices and life style. Anyway, I was quite immature emotionally when Michael married me, and I consider myself  almost grown up. Now, many years later, I might be considered a true and valued friend, and given the advantage of the opportunity to study again , I would have the fortitude to pursue my interests intellectually and culturally. So, just like Mick Jagger proclaimed in the song, I tried really hard, and found I got what I need. I needed to grow up, to heal, be strong, move forward. My marriage allowed me to do that, as did the rewards of raising my wonderful son, who has been such a joy. So, as sentimental as I might have initially felt to revisiting the possibilities of the past, I am where I need to be and I am truly happy. And my wonderful, kind friend, whom my heart continues to treasure, is where he needs to be, with a wife that has allowed him to blossom in to the outstanding person that he is, successful, caring and important to his community and his country.