New Soles

The incessant rain the last days has saturated our mossy lawn into a spongy carpet that made my shoes squeak like small rubber toys. The sound made me smile, as I watched a squirrel dash away nimbly out of our dog's Yara's bark and reach. The backyard seemed unusually silent, in spite of the unseasonably warm temperatures, perhaps even the birds thought it was just too wet to bother with their springtime like singing from the other day. I looked at my wet sneakers, and started thinking about how like my soul searching for renewal, their soles were a bit weary. Soul. Soles. It can take a lot of courage for a soul to start trekking to where it wants to go, like shoes, the soul needs a path to walk on, and a way to take that journey. For feet, it is pretty evident, to start walking effectively, you need a good pair of shoes, with a sturdy sole. For a soul, that walk is not a physical one, so good soles won't do. Yet, in a symbolic way, our soul needs some guidance to find its way, like shoes need soles to be effective. Today, my soul felt very much like a shoe longing for a good, reliable tread. I felt clueless, like the rain hypnotized my ability to see through the connection between my walking feet and my walking soul. To me, the soul , or spirit that inhabits our thoughts and heart, always felt stationary, and it was for the first time it felt like my soul was actually taking a journey along side my physical being. It was a weird sensation, one that left me a bit lost. Like my feet were waiting for my soul to make up its mind and heart as to where to go next. It felt satisfying, like the sated feel of having finished a great cup of tea, and seeing the cup empty, realizing the cup was only empty because now the tea was ingested and warm inside of me. Emptiness felt never more freeing, more hopeful. It felt like I had come full circle, and here I was, face to face with myself, and it felt peaceful, it felt good. I felt a door opening inside of me, that was letting in fresh, clean air, moist and full of promise like the rich scented rain. It felt like time was slowing down in that moment of realization, and I sighed deeply, not in sadness, but in understanding. New soles take time to feel comfortable. This new sensation of the newness of my soul, in spite of my 57 years, would also take time. I was ready to do just that.