Immigrant's Lament

It never gets old, living in a country that is not yours. After 36 years in the US, 11 years of which were spent in Texas, and 24 so far here in Washington State, every day, whether good, bad or everything in between, the awareness that this is not where I grew up is very real. It is not my Flemish I hear, it is not the food I grew up with, it is not the measuring and weight system I grew up with, as I realize that I still am not used to yards and quarts and ounces, and it is not the political climate I grew up with, or cultural standards or perspectives. I grew up in a small country, and now I live in a very large one, that after almost forty years remains unsettling in many ways, with its ever present ambiguities and contradictions. It remains strange to me, that black Americans did not have the right to vote until 1964, that people had to die, both black and white, to achieve this. This is a country that murders its presidents, its civil right leaders, and this within my life time. I was 5 when President Kennedy was assassinated  and 11 when Dr. King was murdered. It is a country of great contrasts, with very wealthy and very poor, with a very ambiguous attitude towards education, conflicting approaches to immigration, to religion, to morality. It is a marvelous country in many ways. It is also frighteningly confusing and controversial in the way it treats its elderly, its physically and mentally ill. It is a country with a very hard edge, for all its sentimental folklore and friendliness. But, it is unique, in the way people from all over the world get along, when all is said and done. It remains remarkable to me that cultures from all over the world get along as well as they do. In every American city of any size, with all the ethnic variety, both socially, politically and religiously, it is rare that people clash, or that riots occur because of ethnic tensions. There is a great tolerance and respect for who you are. I am a member of a black Baptist church, my hairdresser is a Vietnamese Buddhist, my neighbours of 23 years are Mormon, and there seems to be plenty of room for every one's opinion and life style. There are churches in Olympia that celebrate every faith, and they are all in close physical proximity: Korean Presbyterians, African American Baptists, a Muslim Mosque, a Jewish temple, a Catholic church, just to name a few. I feel very free here, with lots of space around my soul and identity. Perhaps big countries that are democracies can afford to be generous this way, as they have a lot of resources and a lot of space. I will never stop missing certain things about Europe, but I also love very much the space that this country allows around my heart and soul.