Ramadan

A friend of mine who I have not seen in 29 years, but with whom I have maintained communication via New Year's cards, and the occasional letters, and recently through e- mail messages, sent me a wish that made me feel hopeful. On the first day of Ramadan for him, he wished me and my family all the best during the Holy month of fasting he will be observing as a devout Muslim. My friend and I were in graduate school together. I got my Master's degree in Spanish and Latin American literature, he pursued a Doctorate in linguistics and education. We grew up in different cultures, with a shared influence of French culture, he as a citizen of Morocco, I as a native of Belgium. We both speak French and English fluently, he is also a native speaker of Tamazight and Arabic, and I am a native speaker of Flemish and also speak Spanish fluently. He grew up in the Muslim faith, I was raised in the traditions of the Catholic church. Because of modern technology, we can communicate as often as we wish, and after many years of sporadic communication, we can now catch up on each others'  lives, interests, views, concerns, and wish each other well on birthdays, anniversaries, and Holidays. There has always been a mutual code of respect and discretion, a deliberate effort to respect each others' privacy and to allow space for questions and doubts on challenging issues like politics and religion. That is why his kind wishes at the start of what is an important month spiritually for him, touched my heart. It is so easy to find things in our friends that annoy us, or that irritate us because it involves habits or points of view different from our own. It can be even more tempting at times when those friendships cut across cultural, racial and ideological borders. I personally have always looked for and welcome the challenge, as it makes sure I keep an open mind, eager to learn and understand. To find common ground, in my experience, takes heart. I have always been intrigued by different cultures and have had many friends from many different countries with languages and habits and religions very different from my own. Friends form India, Bangladesh, Egypt, Morocco, Nigeria, Tanzania, Japan, Vietnam, Mexico,El Salvador, Puerto Rico, Argentina, Peru, Panama, Costa Rica. This exposed me to Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, Shintoism, and a very devout strand of Latin American Catholicism, long defunct in the Europe I grew up in. The heart can transcend these differences of beliefs and convictions with a fair amount of ease in my experience. That knowledge gives me great hope. My Muslim friend reached out to me with confidence, respect and a fair amount of affection, letting me know that he believes, as do I, that what binds us together is bigger than what keeps us apart. In a world that at times is boiling with the rage of fear and hatred, his message is both powerful and courageous. I answered him thanking him for his kind wishes, and expressing a wish in turn that this Holy month will be a true blessing for him.