Gathering Flowers

When I turned 18, my parents commissioned a painting for me by the local Gent area artist Raoul Vanden Heede. I chose a gypsy as the subject and it turned out to be as much a self portrait as it was wishful thinking about a group of people I always felt very drawn to. I left Belgium at age 19, and have felt like an outsider, much like a gypsy, in many ways, socially, culturally, intellectually and linguistically. Two nights ago I had a dream that Raoul, who is deceased now, and who was a close friend of my parents for many years, was bringing me flowers, simple flowers of the field. He told me to not get discouraged, to keep writing, to keep making my tapestries. His plea was very emotional and left an impression on me that lasted into the waking hours of the next days. While Raoul was talking to me, bringing me several bouquets of field flowers, I noticed there was a huge tree, towering at at least 50 feet, with many strong branches and roots, but bare of leaves. My husband walked up to it and started planting the flowers Raoul Vanden Heede was bringing me. That was interesting enough, but what was unsettling was that the huge tree was missing a big chunk out of its left side, like someone had taken a very large chainsaw and removed a sizable chunk that gave the  mighty looking giant a hurt and diminished look. My husband seemed undaunted by the enormous scar on the tree, and I remember staring at him and the flowers he was planting and the hurt tree, puzzled, concerned. I woke up not being able to shake the image, wondering how it connected to Raoul's admonition not to give up. I felt like the dream was giving me a glimpse of something I was supposed to understand, but so far its meaning eludes me... I do believe the dream was telling me that my quiet husband is supportive of my efforts, and that the presence of a now deceased artist friend from many years ago, who had to struggle to establish respect and success as an artist, is a hopeful sign. Perhaps the scarred tree is a symbol for the tree of life, my life, that has wounds in, that are significant, but not big enough to keep the tree from surviving, albeit it with some difficulty. My husband planting the flowers Raoul gave me is a sign I think that all beauty is worth preserving, that my efforts should be continued even though it may seem I am going it alone. I am not, says the dream, your husband is right there by your side. It may take time to understand all the dream has to offer, but what it does give up so far is loving and hopeful.