Affliction

There is a 1997 movie with the rather subdued title of " Affliction" in which Nick Nolte gives a stunning performance as a man haunted by the abuses he suffered as a child at the hands of his abusive father. James Coburn is chilling as the alcoholic father who as an elderly man still emotionally terrorizes his two grown sons and their mother. The narrative is from the perspective of
the younger brother played very soberly but highly effectively, by Willem Dafoe.
In the story, Nick Nolte's character is a sheriff, Wade Whitehouse, who becomes entangled in a hunting accident and its fallout, and in the process starts blurring the facts with his never resolved trauma as a child brutalized by a perpetually drunk father. The screenplay by Paul Schrader is spellbinding, and is a tour de force adaptation from the novel by Russell Banks. The atmosphere the movie creates as Nick Nolte's character unravels is Shakespearean in scope as the tragic elements are all in place to lead to the destruction of both the father and the oldest son, Wade Whitehouse. James Coburn's character's capacity for boundless cruelty, both physically and emotionally is riveting. It is like watching a ship sink with all the survivors on board drowning,and not being able to look away.
The movie hit a deep and raw nerve in me, as an adult child of an alcoholic mother who left deep scars and profound misery on our family. My youngest sister committed suicide, my father lost all power in his marriage to our mother and died alone, stripped of his house and all his possessions. My other sister died young leaving two small children behind, my brother and I became permanently estranged. I married the oldest son of a man who was terrorized by his violent alcoholic father in turn, as was his younger brother while their mother encouraged the devastating behaviour.
If you are reading this and you are young enough to start a family, and you have a drinking problem, please get help. The destruction will not end with you. Even if you become sober, the scars will last in you and even with your best efforts will affect your children on an emotional level, as you will struggle with guilt, resentment, anger, detachment, depression's shadow, and isolation as you try to salvage the damage alcohol wreaks on the heart and soul. "Affliction " is a hard movie to watch if you have been exposed to an alcoholic parent, but I am glad I saw it. It reminds me that I need to stay vigilant as to my own healing but still very real emotional hurts, and to stay sensitive to the hurts my husband endured growing up. My husband and I are both lucky we had access to therapy, and that we did not turn into alcoholics ourselves. I do not drink at all, and my husband never has more than two drinks of any type of alcohol. The movie is unafraid to show the true darkness of addiction, how it is never a victimless crime. Everyone in the life of the alcoholic suffers damage, and the worst damage is always done to the spouse and the children. It is a heartbreaking story told with dignity and brutal honesty all in one. The actors are brilliant and will leave you haunted and forever aware of the ugly, violent nature of alcohol addiction and its legacy of human suffering and misery.