A Toi

With the beautiful warm summer weather extending into September, and the soft, dusty melancholy air of pre-fall in the sweet breeze, I remembered a singer of whom I had not thought of in many, many years: Joe Dassin. He was a very popular song writer and singer in France in the late 60's and through the 70's, and I never knew he was born in New York to a Jewish family, or that he had a doctorate in ethnology from the University of Ann Arbor in Michigan. I also did not know he and his wife lost their baby after 5 days when it was born prematurely, or that he had died so young, at age 42 of a heart attack. He seems like he was a happy person when I was watching his videos again on UTube. An easy smile, dreamy eyes, good looks, easy charm. His songs, it is true are spiked with melancholy, like "A Toi", and "Si tu n'existais pas", and of course, "L'ete indien". My sister Goedele and my aunt Agnes liked his music, especially his 1978 album "Le Jardin du Luxembourg". Hearing his songs again, and realizing his sudden death at age 42, made me think of my sister Goedele who was 44 when she died of cancer in 2005. She chose a life of ambition and status over a pursuit of academia, with an interest in astronomy. As a child, she was industrious and homey, and I think she would have been happy as a professor, with a bunch of kids, and a healthy lifestyle and marriage. Instead her life was riddled with stress and intrigue, and I wonder if it contributed to her early death. Joe Dassin was no stranger to stress and tragedy in his life, yet he seemed so carefree and happy. Things are rarely what they seem. It was apparently true for his life, and apparently true for my sister. I remember how she would knit beautiful little sweaters as a child, anticipating having a family of her own some day. At it turned out, she had a family of her own, for which she never had time, and now her widowed husband takes care of the soon 16 year old daughter, and 12 year old son, who lost their mother when they were 8 and 4. If only we paid more attention to our childhood dreams and hopes, they are often right on as far as leading to a path of happiness, before rationalization kicks in, leading to so much blurred vision.