The Stairwell

Dreams are an interesting window into our mind and its very stubborn efforts to come to terms with our existence 's quirks and inconsistencies, anxieties and frustrations. My dreamworld has always been very elaborate, and my dreams are like full length full colour Hollywood movies, incredibly detailed and peopled with both familiar faces and strangers. Last night was no exception. In my dreams I am always on foot, by myself, trying very hard to get "home", either to Roeselare, Belgium where I was born and lived until I was 19, or Austin, Texas, where I went to graduate school and met my husband. Last night I was trying to get to Brugge. That at least, was different. I have a niece that went to boarding school there, but other than that, no connections other than many a visit, of course when I  was growing up. In my dreams I often walk near highways, with fast traffic just roaring by me as I walk very determinedly wherever it is I think I am going. Often my parents are in my dream. My mother as a haughty, indifferent observer, my father as a concerned friend and helper. In the dream last night, my mother was super busy buying clothes with my sister Goedele and they both just brushed my pleas for help off irritably. My father tried, but had, as usual in my dreams very little power to effect any outcome or change. I was inside this huge university building, with dizzying tall staircases that had no railings, and made me very dizzy and afraid. I was trying to get to a geography class, and never did get there. So, I tried to get down the stair cases and manged to get back outside, where it turned out I was on the outskirts of Brugge. The streets were jam packed with people, almost to a panicky degree, which made me hide inside a quiet house. It turned out that it was the house of an artist, a Native American young artist, with a very calm face and flowing long black hair. He was painting watercolour pictures when I got to his house. My panic did not bother him at all, he just handed me some brushes and paint and a piece of paper and invited me to paint also, which delighted me and really calmed my anxiety. I felt at ease, safe, and that is where the dream ended.
Two days ago, I dreamed I could not find my husband and son, until they finally showed up walking next to me on this busy highway going into Austin, Texas. I was so glad to see them. And so relieved I did not have to deal with any staircases, as I did the following night. Some people would get upset at the intensity of the kind of dreams I have, but to me they have become an extension of my daily reality. A reality I feel at ease with and am intrigued by ,and that allows me an extended family of both friends and strangers with whom I have a story to live.